This is Why You’re Drunk: Sidecar (updated)

What’s with the updates lately? I’ve been enjoying sidecars lately, and checked the previous recipe: what I’m drinking doesn’t match what I’m selling… For shame.

Here’s an updated version for you to enjoy. News flash: there’s a shitload of booze inside…

A few of these will kill your urge to read. Anything.

Badass Sidecar
Serves one cognac connoisseur

INGREDIENTS

• 3 parts Cognac (I like Rémy Martin – mostly because it’s fun to say “Rémy Martin”)
• 1 part Orange liqueur
• 1 part Lemon juice
• Ice

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Half-fill a shaker with ice
2. Add cognac, orange liqueur, and lemon juice
3. Shake shake shake
4. Strain into a cocktail glass
5. Drink

FAQs

• Shake here, don’t shake there – what gives? >> Shaking for this drink “opens-up” the lemon. Do it, and don’t ask questions.
• Is there a rocks version of this drink? I like ice >> Sure. Strain into an old fashioned glass with ice. Done.
• What about a sugary rim? >> Years ago, I wanted to elevate my game from beer to cocktails. I ordered a sidecar at a place in Chicago, and was presented with a sugary rimmed drink in a cocktail glass – it looked like a carnival. WTF? Done properly, this is a drink for a man.
• Is that a lot of alcohol? Seems like a lot >> Yes, it is. Recipes I’ve seen call for 1:1:1 cognac/triple sec/lemon. I’ve leaned to the cognac a bit.

This is Why You’re Drunk: Badass Manhattan (updated)

I have already published a tried-and-true Manhattan recipe, but then there’s progress… Here’s the latest way I like to empty a cocktail glass. I bet you’ll like it too!

Looks classy. Are you sure you deserve this?

Updated Badass Manhattan
Serves one fancy gentleman

INGREDIENTS

• 3 parts bourbon (Maker’s or better)
• 1 part sweet vermouth (Carpano Antica)
• 2 shakes orange bitters
• Ice

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice
2. Add bourbon, vermouth, and bitters
3. Stir gently – DO NOT SHAKE!
4. Strain into a cocktail glass (if you like ice in your drink, strain into an old fashioned glass with ice)
5. Drink (with friends or alone – I still won’t judge you)

FAQs

• I’m too lazy to click a link – how does this differ from the earlier recipe? >> The earlier recipe used cherry juice and a cherry in-place of the bitters. I don’t like angostura bitters for this drink, but the orange bitters are awesome. And cherries are for children.
• Shaking looks cool – why not? >> You know what’s not cool? Getting tiny shards of ice in your “up” drink. There’s no need to shake this cocktail. You only shake to froth-up cream or egg whites or to release essences from citrus or mint. Shake your groove thing instead!
• What do you mean, “Maker’s or better?” >> Because you’re a connoisseur, you want a decent bourbon for this drink. Because it’s a cocktail, it doesn’t need to be top shelf. Get a bourbon that’s in the $25-40/bottle range. Anything over $40 is too good, and anything under $25 is trash. For this, Maker’s Mark is ok – Woodford Reserve is better.
• What do you mean, “Carpano Antica?” >> When I started my trips to Manhattan, I thought any vermouth would do. I was wrong. Carpano Antica isn’t a bargain brand – it’s around $34/bottle, but that’s money well-spent. Treat yourself right by elevating your vermouth.
• What about rye? >> The classic Manhattan is made with rye instead of bourbon – and that’s a fine substitution. If you like rye, feel free to swap-out the bourbon for rye – leave the other ingredients the same.