I know it was you, Alfredo

For Italian food (pronounced, EYE-talian), sauces come in three colors: green, white, and red. Alfredo is the white one.

You broke my heart… with all the fat and cholesterol

Historically, Alfredo was paired with fettuccine from the start. It started as fettuccine al burro or pasta al burro e parmigiano and was, simply, fettuccine, Parmesan  cheese, and butter – which sounds way healthier than the version we’re eating today.

Modern fettuccine Alfredo was invented by Alfredo di Lelio in Rome who tripled the amount of butter, and we were off to the races. The fat races. In America, the sauce has become a thick and rich white sauce designed to keep us fed in the manner to which we’ve become accustomed.

Last night it was poured-on tortellini and topped with frozen peas. Still great!

Mock Alfredo Sauce
Serves 4 adults (and don’t forget to eat a salad along side this dish)

Note: even though modern Alfredo sauce already differs from legacy, THIS recipe differs from even that. The current “classic” recipe relies on heavy cream – we won’t be using any heavy cream today…

INGREDIENTS

• 5 Tbs Butter
• 3 Tbs Flour
• 2+ cups Milk
• 1-2 cloves Garlic, minced
• 6 oz Parmesan cheese, grated
• 2-3 tsp Black pepper
• Nutmeg (optional)

SUMMARY

1. Start by making a Béchamel sauce (you know, roux + milk) then add garlic
2. Melt-in Parmesan cheese and a shitload of black pepper
3. Stir and serve

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Guess what? We’re starting with a roux. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add flour and whisk until the flour is cooked by the melted butter – about 2 minutes.
2. Add 1 cup of milk (half the milk) and whisk to combine. Don’t stop whisking until the mixture begins to thicken, then add the 2nd cup of milk and continue whisking. We whisk continually to ensure we’re creating a smooth and velvety sauce.
3. Add garlic.
4. If the sauce is a little too thick, add extra milk – add less than you think, it will stiffen as it cooks.
5. Add Parmesan cheese and whisk continually again. The cheese will begin melting – eventually becoming smooth. If you use “Parmesan” from a can, it will be grittier than fresh.
6. Add a lot of fresh cracked black pepper – ooh, that’s the stuff!
7. If you want nutmeg, which is nice in a white sauce, add some now – like 1/4-1/2 tsp.
8. Stir to bring it all together.
9. Serve.

SERVING NOTES

• For fettuccine, you should mix the sauce with the cooked noodles and combine (lift with tongs a number of times to really get each noodle married to the sauce)
• For other pastas, you can pour-on like any ol’ pot of ragu
• You can also add things: meats, vegetables, and others. Alfredo sauce is a forgiving and garlicky canvas – use it to create a masterpiece (…I started laughing when I thought of YOU creating a masterpiece. Ah, good times…)

RECIPE NOTES

• Why “mock,” don’t you trust me with the actual recipe? >> I was in the fridge last night and saw only milk – no cream, but I really wanted Alfredo. This is easier than the cream-based sauce – more forgiving – and easy to scale-up to feed an army. And, no, I don’t trust you.
• What’s with the history lesson? >> I’m tired of being the smartest one in the room. If you read a book, once in a while, I’d rest easier.
• Why can’t the milk be measured exactly? >> The amount of liquid needed in a recipe that uses a roux is always an estimate. The thickening power of the roux depends on how much you cook the flour. Flour’s thickening capabilities are reduced the more you cook. Happy?
• How does this compare to the Olive Garden? >> I checked, and the O.G. posts their recipe online. Turns-out, they use flour AND heavy cream. Why choose when you can have both?

Picnic Rules

Be a good citizen at a crowded picnic – or we’ll hate you

Recently, my wife and I spent a lovely evening at Ravinia enjoying 80’s alternative music. The typical fare* at Ravinia is a blanket, chairs, a table, picnic foods, and a couple/several bottles of wine.

Usually, this is the time for me to break-out the fancy AF finger sandwiches. But this time, we just picked-up Jersey Mike’s and made it easy. Don’t worry, there was still wine.

Anyway, as people began to fill-in, and space became limited, we started to notice some foul odors seeping-into my pleasant evening. Which made me think of a few rules for these kinds of events:

NO TUNA

Sometimes, nothing satisfies like a tuna salad sandwich. You know what NEVER satisfies? Smelling someone else eating a tuna salad sandwich. DON’T PUNISH ME WITH YOUR SEAFOOD!

NO BÁNH MÌ

Smells as good as it looks? Nope.

Until a few years ago, I had never eaten a bánh mì*. There’s a place across the street from my office that sells all kinds of luncheon delights from stalls: The French Market. It’s mostly overpriced, but when you’re tired of the train station food court, it’s a nice escape. There is a Vietnamese stall at the French Market that sells bánh mì sandwiches – great! But, the place smells like a dirty diaper.

AND THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED SATURDAY NIGHT AT RAVINIA! The couple directly behind us was having a celebration of bánh mì. For a while, I thought someone crapped their pants – maybe even me, but then realized what was happening… Luckily, the smell only lasted ~45 minutes and I was able to resume normal breathing toward the end.

I’m sure we can all put our heads together, and think-up a number of other rules we’d like to see enforced (how about a “hey, keep it down while others are trying to hear Morrissey sweat-out another obscure deep cut or odd cover” rule), but I’d rather we all use our common senses:

1. Golden rule
2. That’s it

Thanks! And, you’re welcome for making the world a better place!

 

NOTES:

• Ravinia Kit: We try to go a few times a year – usually to see/hear classical music. The key to enjoyment is to be well-equipped. We have a roll-up table with tablecloth, fold-up chairs, a few blankets, a wine bag, and a candelabra with battery-operated tapers.

Not pictured: candelabra

• Bánh Mì: I guess bánh mì means “bread” in Vietnamese, but I know it as a sandwich. They’re usually filled with picked vegetables, which bring the funk – in a good way!
• Morrissey: The show was good – well performed, but we wanted songs more from The Smiths. My wife got a t-shirt at the merch tent – I looked for steak knives, but didn’t find any. Next time.